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breeder

chemicals chemicals chemicals.

pregnant painter says cadmium red will make a baby with two heads and we have to be careful what sorts of teas that we eat and the tired is eternal and it feels like back in the day when my brain stopped ticking and i laid it to rest on a pillow of ashes thinking sweet blessed little burbled nothings. the insipid words of the ones i do not understand there must be a community of those who are terrified of the what if nots. these are not my people i should never have come here -

dreamt last night that i ran away with martha wainwright singing my happy sadness laughing and the everpresent rollercoaster and the sunshine i'd found and my fear of the flatline. i remember driving to the places that were mine on my own in my green skirts and my naked feet and my leaves and my cold cold water and the trinkets i would send swimming. goodbye...

caught in the riptide of my constant fears of forever and calling to a god who is stonewalling again or is it me with the stones i don't know i need an ocean to dip my hair in and some sand in my teeth the latex realities of my safe living of late is waring surely a run through the woods is good for the babe but don't drink too deep ophelia...

4:53 p.m. - 2005-11-29
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