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nemeses

The yin yang components of my formerly greatest emotional nemeses invited me to tea on their personal train car in the middle of a snowy night. In between candlelit conversations on the couch with my own and our gently nodding off on separate journeys of the psyche I found a respite from three solid weeks of gut wrenching nightmares that singled and named every demon hiding in the corners of my recently vulnerable maze of a brain.

And these demons were the last and largest of the line where I found myself Indian style on a dusty antique rug vignettes of American landscapes flying past double paned windows playing word games with a benevolent He. He all smiles and gentleness my crony clearing away all the ways I had hated and been tortured by him.

When we stopped in a tree filled possibly Arkansas, he backed away into the shadows and I was led to the pinnacle, the empress, the dark one that had taken on the mask of everything I am not.

And she took my hand.

Her black hair and her leggings and her five inches shorter than me filled me with the love almost of a mother, a sister, a lover. I followed her silent into her most beloved secret places ending in a quiet tree canopied grave yard and the grave stone for a nameless ghost she had written herself.

She knelt reverent to clear away leaves and found with only slight dismay the epitaph broken away and only black rainwater filling stone. She and He became steam and filled serpentine the remaining inch of chasm that was my fear with love, with acceptance, with peace with quiet kind ironic laughter at myself.

And I awoke in a formerly strange place.

And I found myself finally at home.

10:20 a.m. - 2005-12-07
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